When I Was Acting Codependently People Loved Me, But Now that I've Recovered and Love Myself, I Am No Longer Popular or Loved By Those People

And you know what?.. I'm happier than I've ever been

Hi readers!

I’m still trying to get to know you. :)

Why are you so silent?

In this newsletter, I’m going to tell you the truth.

I have completely changed and the people who used to be in my life are all gone. Yes, most of the people who were supposed to be my friends disappeared when I stood up to them.

You see, what many of us call relationships today are nothing but transactional encounters. There is no love.

I knew this for a long time, but I didn’t know what to do about it as I didn’t know what codependence was or that I had a problem with it.

I knew there was a problem in my relationships, but I had no idea how to resolve it.

I didn’t know that I had been programmed since childhood to be a slave to others.

It wasn’t till I was long into my spiritual journey that I got my awakening. I don’t know why it took so long, but I think it’s because there is no teaching on it.

The first thing that really woke me up was when a friend from church invited me to an Al-Anon meeting. I was hesitant to go, but she persisted and I’m glad she did because it started to open my eyes to what was happening to me—all my life!

I feel sad when I think about it, but I want to help people who are still stuck there.

Stuck where?

Giving, giving, giving to others who take advantage of your kindness.

They see your weakness and exploit it.

I was certainly exploited in my life, used and abused by people who said they loved me.

It can be confusing when you are not someone who is in the habit of telling lies. We tend to trust people and believe them.

However, I have learned that some people will say anything to get what they want (they don’t care if they have to lie), and as soon as they get it, they are gone.

When I started to kick back at the people who were undermining me, belittling me, using me, or dismissing me, I had the biggest wake-up call of my life.

They were so angry with me.

How dare she not let me do what I want!

It was hard because I decided I was not going to take it anymore.

And I had to be prepared for the consequences of my actions.

If I was going to assert myself and set boundaries, some people were not going to like it. Sadly, in my case, that was almost everybody in my life because I was conditioned to be a people pleaser.

But God needed me to put an end to that.

We cannot be people pleasers and obey God at the same time.

I lost everyone.

They just couldn’t handle the real me—the healed me.

The beautiful free me—the one Jesus set free.

But, I have come to like it. I now know that the fear of man is a snare (Proverbs 29:25) and I will never go back to that way of living no matter how unhappy it makes others feel.

If they loved me as they said they do, they would meet me halfway and work on creating a better relationship.

However, some people are too immature to change so we must develop new relationships based on a fair share of giving and receiving.

Relationships of mutual respect.

When you love yourself, you will not tolerate any form of abuse and you will learn to confront what needs to be confronted.

We are not responsible for others and how they feel. We have a right to express how we feel and if others don’t like it, that is not our concern.

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I shared this with you to show you that it is possible to change. It’s not easy, but it is possible and we have God to help us.

I am a Christian life coach and I am in the business of setting people free as that is the Lord’s business.

Jesus has come to set the captive free…

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.”

Isaiah 61:1-3

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No one should be exploited. No one.

Are you free?

Thank you for reading!

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For a FREE copy of my eBook, 7 Ways to Break Free From Fear and Live Your Best Life Now, click here.

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